🎉 My Top 10 Takeaways from 2023

Happy New Year!

I just wanted to take a moment to say how much I appreciate you being part of our journey. Thank you so much for your support! I'm incredibly excited about what lies ahead in 2024 and I couldn't do it without you.

This past year I had so many invaluable insights and after revisiting everything from 2023, excited to share my top 10 takeaways.

- Chris

P.S. Thanks to everyone who supported our ​Daffy Campaign​ to raise money to build water projects with charity: water. Thanks to your generosity, we're actually so close to funding two projects and will be closing the campaign this week to ensure funds get deployed asap.

🩷 Kindness is so important

In ​episode 118​ with Gary Vaynerchuk, a profound realization emerged — kindness is paramount in pursuing success.

We debunked the conventional notion of "nice guys finish last," given that there’s an overwhelming abundance of resources and opportunities in the world. Jealousy may be the culprit of this behavior, but when you zoom out, you realize that success is not a finite resource and that others' achievements don't diminish your potential.

The difficulty in embracing kindness often stems from fear — fear of failure, fear of vulnerability, and fear of being taken advantage of. However, I strongly feel that when you ditch fear for kindness and accountability, it can become a catalyst for personal and collective growth. One step you can take is getting super clear on understanding the motivations behind your pursuits — whether it's for personal happiness, parental approval, or peer validation. Ultimately, it’s going to lead you to what makes you happy most.

A nuanced insight from ​episode 123​ with Nuseir Yassin highlighted the distinction between being nice and kind. Sometimes, we may believe we’re being kind, but we’re just being nice by not sharing words that will help someone (even if it’s difficult to deliver). When delivering challenging news, sincerity is key.

In my personal experiences, providing candid but constructive feedback has proved super helpful. For example, when I chose not to invest in certain startups, I’d approach these situations with a genuine desire to help, sharing specific concerns to prompt reflection and potential course correction.

Focusing on kindness can reshape our perspectives on success, foster personal growth, and create a supportive environment where feedback, even if critical, becomes a catalyst for improvement.

⏳ Value your time

In ​episode 98​, my conversation with Dan Martell highlighted the critical importance of valuing time and optimizing productivity through outsourcing, delegation, and selective task-dropping.

We discussed calculating your buyback rate, which is key to figuring out what your time is worth. The math may be simple, but actually applying it is much more challenging, especially for more frugal-minded individuals (like me). But the more I take steps to protect my time, the easier it gets (because I start to see the things that have happened in my life with extra time to be creative and think).

Take this podcast as an example. Transitioning to full-time allowed me to do much more:

• Greater consistency in managing the newsletter
• Engaging with the membership
• Conducting extensive research for solo episodes

I even (finally) hired an assistant through ​Oceans​, Pasini, who’s been amazing, and I’m super grateful for her.

A simple strategy for you to start with is a time audit, where you scrutinize tasks on your calendar and identify areas for potential outsourcing. Focus on tasks that drain energy, lack enjoyment, or hinder creativity can often be delegated to free up time for more meaningful pursuits. But your most powerful weapon in all of this is saying “no.” So when you get a phone call, you can say no. When you get an email, you can just archive it.

Don't forget that you need to be more protective of your own time.

💪 Everyone can build more confidence

In ​episode 130​, my conversation with Aziz Gazipura shed light on how confidence isn't an inherent trait but a skill everyone can refine.

A key insight from the episode emphasized that being confident about something differs from asking for it. The often-scary act of asking actually leads to more than you can imagine. Part of the answer to this is getting more comfortable with rejection. I understand that is not a simple feat. I’m not a fan of rejection by any means, but I have learned that a bit of exposure therapy (asking people for things even though you know you’ll probably get rejected) is a great way to understand the feeling of discomfort better.

That fear we all have is directly tied to uncertainty in situations. Explored in ​episode 139​ with Matt Abrahams, we talk about how preparation can play a pivotal role in relieving that pressure of uncertainty (especially in spontaneous conversations). Matt offered valuable tactics to navigate spontaneous conversations, emphasizing the power of well-timed pauses, asking for clarification, paraphrasing what someone said, and notably, admitting when you don't know—an act of humility that can enhance credibility.

He also offered a few ways to handle uncertainty by using structured conversation frameworks like:

• What, So What, Now What: It’s a 3-part framework for thinking about “what happened, why it is important, and what action you are taking next."
• Problem-Solution-Benefit: It’s a blueprint for delivering concise and impactful messages by framing your responses or questions by stating the problem, what you will do, and why it matters.
• WHAT: It’s a structure when giving unexpected toasts or tributes. Why you're here, How you're connected, some Anecdotes, and wrap up with a Tribute or Toast.

💳 Learn the skill of spending

We talk about saving, investing, and spending less all the time – but we can’t overlook intentional spending as a part of your personal finance plan.

This process comes with two steps.

The first step is gaining clarity on your spending. In solo ​episode 133​, I explored the best tools for keeping us organized and facilitating decision-making. But the process of finding the right tool actually gave me more clarity on our spending in my entire life. We ended up using ​Copilot ​— a tool that tracks expenses and excels in categorizing them, setting it apart from other apps (and for all Mint users and Android web users, some important Copilot upgrades are coming soon).

The second step is being intentional about spending. The hard part for me was steering away from a frugal mindset and dialing up investments in what genuinely matters. I heard this idea that a “budget being is more freeing than restricting” because when you predetermine an amount beforehand, it permits you to spend without worry. This year, we intentionally dialed up our travel spend. It wasn’t just because Amy and I love to travel, but we wanted to make it more comfortable with two kids. That meant getting bigger spaces and spending 2-3x more. But we did so by cutting back on less important areas.

In ​episode 141​, I talked about the skill of spending with Brad Barrett, and even in ​episode 9​ with Ramit Sethi, we discussed the concept of money dials. Both episodes emphasize the idea of spending on what matters and cutting back unapologetically on what doesn't.

🧭 There are so many paths to happiness and success

In ​episode 119​, my conversation with Codie Sanchez tipped the scale in rethinking what it means to have a successful and happy career path.

For 10 years, Amy and I have been deeply embedded in tech and startups and the Silicon Valley success mindset. Even though I went full-time last year, it still felt like a less exciting path because it wasn't successful in how the last decade has trained me.

Codie’s “boring business” empire made me rethink all the possible things we could do to achieve success and happiness with our career choices. More specifically, they don’t need to conform to predefined notions but instead align with our interests and passions (even if they seem less glamorous).

I really encourage you to explore unconventional avenues to fulfillment and success beyond the traditionally celebrated ones.

🩺 Be in charge of your health

Personal health is an individual responsibility.

For most of my life, my cholesterol levels have been high. For years, the conventional advice I received centered on exercise, a healthy diet, and periodic check-ins. The numbers didn’t get better, but the advice remained the same.

In ​episode 97​, I discussed with Dr. Jordan Schlain the importance of being in charge of our health. The best doctors in the world don't have the time (or ability) to care about your health as much as you do. Many have to tailor advice to what patients can do, what’s covered by insurance, and what information they have been given (which can be outdated).

So I took my cholesterol situation into my own hands. I got my calcium score, revealing a small amount of calcium in my arteries, and I took things more seriously. I sought a doctor to listen to some of these results and offer a course of action that has reduced my cholesterol levels and made me feel so much better (thanks, statins!).

I encourage you to explore diagnostic tests beyond an annual physical, especially since they are becoming more accessible (e.g., blood/biomarker tests, DEXA scans, VO2 max, whole-body MRIs, and more). But please don’t get caught up in everything because you could go down too many rabbit holes and spend a fortune. As I’ve often been reminded, none of this extra stuff probably matters if you’re not eating healthily or exercising.

🥗 Eating well can be much easier than you think

Eating healthy has often felt like a challenging task.

However, this year, we've realized we've been overcomplicating it. So, let me share some valuable tips we've discovered and implemented to simplify the process.

• Meal plan: We use the ​Paprika app​ for meal organization, but you can try ChatGPT or your favorite AI to create tailored plans based on preferences and dietary requirements. Consider meal prep for added convenience.
• Subscribe to meal kit services: Three of our weekly meals come from ​Green Chef​ for delicious, health-focused options. I’m such a fan that I got them to offer ​60% off your first order here​.
• Repeat meals: We remove the friction from the planning process by repeating some of our favorite recipes or assigning specific meals to certain days of the week.
• Outsourced grocery shopping: We use services like Amazon Fresh or Whole Foods Delivery to save time. Or, if you hire an assistant, consider delegating meal planning and grocery ordering.
• Meal prep assistance: Before Green Chef, we found someone on Craigslist to cook meals and prep for the week. This can be a cost-effective alternative to meal deliveries, providing freshly cooked meals for several days.
• Use the microwave (more): You can find a handful of tactics to cook at home from Chef David Chang in ​episode 122​. But the biggest by far is using the microwave for quick, nutrient-dense meals. We now use our ​Anyday cookware​ all the time (and you can get ​15% off here​).

🎮 You’re in control of your life

In ​episode 140​, my conversation with Robin Arzón made this cliché come to life because she helped me realize taking charge doesn't always require massive changes; even small, intentional steps can lead to significant transformations.

You don’t need the best outcome to make change happen. You can just get started as the first step without worrying about perfection. And then, later, you can fine-tune and make it better, adjusting it to what truly works for you.

Meditation is a great example of this. There is a misconception that meditation demands significant time and specific conditions can hinder progress, but in ​episode 126​, Light Watkins highlighted that meditating for a few minutes from anywhere still brings tangible benefits.

Shifting your perspective on commitment can be a powerful motivator. Robin pushed me to run/move 3 miles a day for 31 days despite it being the hardest time of the year (we had both sets of parents visiting two kids, all the holidays, and everything we were trying to get done for the end of year work, taxes, and everything). Being someone who follows through on personal promises, especially in health and exercise, becomes a defining aspect of your identity.

 

Amy and I also went through a “billionaire life exercise,” which explored what life would be like without time or money constraints. Surprisingly, the gap between an ideal "billionaire" life and the current reality might not require a fortune and instead just need some intentional, subtle changes. Identifying even the smallest adjustments (like us replacing our loud garage door opener) could significantly enhance your daily life. The cost of these improvements might be minimal compared to the immense satisfaction and happiness they bring. By intentionally reframing commitments, you can shape your life in ways that align with your aspirations and values.

👋 Ditch Plan B

In ​episode 105​, I learned from Matt Higgins about the power of getting rid of Plan B and how contemplating backup plans can hinder success.

My inclination as an optimizer leads me to ponder options and have contingency plans. However, there’s proof out there that demonstrates how having backup plans makes it less likely for Plan A to be successful. The key is to commit fully without looking back.

Quitting my job and focusing entirely on the podcast alongside Amy showcased the power of unwavering commitment. In ​episode 116​, Sahil Bloom shared a valuable lesson he referred to as the Optimist Razor, and it holds the key to manifesting this commitment in your life. The Optimist Razor advocates prioritizing time with optimists over pessimists.

As I navigate 2024, I aim to intentionally surround myself with individuals who inspire me to embrace commitment, burn the boats, stay dedicated to Plan A, and resist the temptation of fallback plans.

🪞 Take Time to Reflect

Reflecting on personal experiences, lessons, and energy-draining activities catalyzes growth and intentional living.

In ​episode 99​, I spoke with Sahil Bloom about his personal annual review framework. I was so focused on having it for the podcast that I failed to reflect on my life. So, this year, I’m making sure to carve out time to reflect using his template:

1. What did I change my mind about this year?
2. What created energy for me?
3. What drained my energy?
4. What (or who) were the boat anchors in my life?
5. What did I not do because of fear?
6. What are my greatest hits and worst misses from the year?
7. What did I learn this year?

One tactic for me to accomplish this is a calendar audit (as I mentioned above). It involves looking back at a few weeks and evaluating everything based on whether they created or drained energy. Then, use this information to set goals to take control of your life.

I’ve also adopted Derek Sivers' 'hell yeah or no' philosophy regarding personal goals. In ​episode 108​, we talked more about living a happier life and leveraging the word “no” more often. I say yes only to what genuinely excites me and aligns with my goals, even if it means declining hard-to-turn-down invitations.

Finally, Amy and I adopted Codie Sanchez's TEAM framework to take inventory of our relationship. It can be a short 10-minute structured discussion that serves as a proactive approach, preventing impromptu, heat-of-the-moment conversations.

• 'T' for touch: an opportunity to hold hands or sit close.
• 'E' for education: a chance to share intriguing discoveries from the day.
• 'A' for appreciation: sharing something you appreciate about the other person (without recycling the same appreciative gesture).
• 'M' for metric: delving into aspects that you or your partner wish to alter within the relationship.

It presents a practical method to incorporate regular relationship evaluations, ensuring they aren't overshadowed by individual goals and personal reflections.

💭 Parting Thoughts

2023 was a remarkable year for us, and I hope it was just as amazing for you. If you haven’t done so, I encourage you to take some time to reflect on the past so you can be clear on what to achieve in 2024.

We also want to hear from you. If you have any key takeaways from 2023, please share them with us at ​​[email protected]​​.​